I HAVE TO MUCH TO SAY

I’m sad. 
So sad that I can’t leave my bed.
Because it holds me down & even when I think I’m just dramatic,
I can’t help but feeling like a piece of shit. 

I’m sad.
And it drags me down under the surface,
Where I used to go because it was quiet and nice.
Where I used to go because it was a good place to hide.

But now it feels like I’m drowning down here.  
Like there’s nothing else but mourning and fear.
Probably because I don’t know anymore, how to get back up.
And the isolation – whilst it’s all I can do, it just really sucks.

I mean I’m not alone.  
And I’ve got food, a bed, a home. Still, I have reasons to be sad. 
And the realization of that is comforting, but also makes me fucking mad. 

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