There is distance, everywhere.
„Distance“ weiterlesenSchlagwort: English
4. Dezember
What would You do if You couldn’t fail?
I HAVE TO MUCH TO SAY
I’m sad.
So sad that I can’t leave my bed.
Because it holds me down & even when I think I’m just dramatic,
I can’t help but feeling like a piece of shit.
I’m sad.
And it drags me down under the surface,
Where I used to go because it was quiet and nice.
Where I used to go because it was a good place to hide.
But now it feels like I’m drowning down here.
Like there’s nothing else but mourning and fear.
Probably because I don’t know anymore, how to get back up.
And the isolation – whilst it’s all I can do, it just really sucks.
I mean I’m not alone.
And I’ve got food, a bed, a home. Still, I have reasons to be sad.
And the realization of that is comforting, but also makes me fucking mad.
I owe this night a poem
The album hasn’t even finished, yet,
and the song I always cry to is just starting.
The song is over now and I cried, hard. I am so thankful for this song, I am so thankful for this night and I would be even more thankful for it if I could stand behind it all fully, but I can’t.
That might be the reason I don’t talk about these things, that I’ll write about now, often, but we find each other in the details.
So.
I owe this night a poem and I mean it.
I am so full of feeling,
so full of feeling alive.
TAOMIN
I am forcing myself to write about this
because it is much, much harder for me,
but I left the table with conversations
that I could not really listen to, anyway,
because this is on my mind
and this poem is itching in my fingers.
A weeks worth of deciding, actually done in a week.
It’s done now, I guess, at least in this specific form.
I am sad.
Sad because I was so, so on board at the end, but it was too late.
It feels like I have to go through this change, I just started to slowly prepare for, anyway,
but differently and I don’t know how.
first
I was 13
you were slightly
touching my knee
I laughed a lot
insecure
enjoying attention
trying to figure out
what to do, to say
how to make him
comfortable
finally we might learn not to mind (too much)…?!
I’m breathing free
Free of Me
I feel chest explodes
and I drink Tea.
Life goes, flows
pap, pap, pa-pa-pa-pap
Into depth my days will lead
towards the sun in lightning-speed
with friends in union
with dust alone
Wawr! I live! Into world I’m thrown!
I spread my wings
-acceptance and power-
and surrender to
the Wind.
C-Dur, tilia zaubert
All the sorrows of the past
All the pain that does last…
there‘s no comfort
just a chest
wide enough
to take it
TUNAMO
I want to write about this.
So, so badly.
This Language, this Platform, this Topic – Let’s go:
A weeks worth of conversation, just in one moment.
It’s still going, right behind me and in my head.
I am fed.
Fed for a weeks worth of diary writing, sleeping and letting my brain do it’s magic.
I now wish I cloud also just go and meditate,
but hey, I can write.
The topic is meta, by the way.
Not even going into abstract metaphors today.
life was finally clinical
Yesterday I walked towards the stars
Being lost, not having a place, wearing myself out
The sky was beautiful, life was finally clinical
I wandered in the dark, watching the distant lights
Shifting towards and away from me.
„life was finally clinical“ weiterlesen